I'm very picky

with whom I want to be close to.
And most especially with whom I date.
You see, i'm old fashioned
I get bored too easily
I hate routines.
Always wanting to try something new and do something every second of the day instead of just sitting all the time.

I don't like people who aren't real around me

I don't like people who tell me what they think I want to hear
Honestly is key.
I'd rather take the truth
than live on a lie

Underappreciatted

Is what I feel like.
but that's okay.

What exactly do you like about me that makes me unique?

is what i want to ask you.
But i dread the reaction you will have..
cause sometimes, i don't think you know me as much as we both think.

Confession#6: Sometimes, i just want to start everything all over again.

But one of the things i wouldn't change would be meeting you.

Sometimes, i just want to delete majority of my fb friends(because that's the closest thing i have to starting all over w/o loosing my closest loved ones & moving to a strange place alone) and keep my closest friends and family. but that would probably only leave me with 100 friends.

Confession#5: I never stop yearning for more.

Sometimes, things seem perfect
but i get scared cause nothing is every perfect
or when i'm too happy, something in the future is going to ruin it and make perfect happy moments imperfect.
but other times, I just want everything better.

when really, imperfection is perfect for so many reasons.
examples:
- bad times&people will never make you appreciate the good times&people as much
- you will not learn anything if you don't fail first

I would just like to tell someone..

How i LOVE my job (:
well.. so far. but i love my co-workers! <3
Also like how it gets busy. Yes it's frustrating and embarrassing when i mess up but i love the challenge and not being bored.
best of all, hello $$$$$$$$$
Although it might not be much now, it will add up later.
This also helps my time management skills and saving up and focusing on school and saving $$
I'm on my way to being on top of my game.

Confession#4: You're a special case of "you don't get what you wanted. Instead, you get what you NEEDED, deserved and so much more"

Confession#3: Naked in my room

for about 30 minutes already lol been taking phone calls like this (awkward)

it feels good to actually be able to have the freedom to do this and have my door closed for once.  It's definitely strange to me of course since i haven't done anything like this before.  Except for those few 5 minutes i'm naked OUTSIDE of the shower tryna rush putting lotion on so i can finally put my clothes on.

NO BUENO

Doing a 4 page essay last minute while you are sleep deprived with cramps..

need better time management skills.. i guess i was wrong about mastering that already

Confession #2: When i'm very frustrated or really angry, i tend to want to cry/tear up and in some cases.. i do.

Confused..

with my emotions.

Interesting people..

Everyone & everything on earth is fascinating in my opinion..
i don't like the lazy, constant, routines, etc.... anyway..

I'm not attracted to good looking guys.. I mean, i do have my opinion on who's cute/handsome/hot and what not.. but i'm more attracted to men PEOPLE who are interesting, down to earth&kind& helpful/thoughtful&understanding, open minded, silly/sense of humor, out going and have a lot of hobbies and etc.. just like me!  

great example: my strange attraction to Travie Mccoy :P I want to be his friend!  I'd love to go out to Africa w/ him to save people w/ the Lazarus Effect.

i'm picky with whom i allow to be a close friend.

I solemly swear

To never put myself to any form of depression or be upset for a long period of time every again.  Why?
because i am happy with myself and my flaws. If anyone keeps me upset, they are no good so i'll just drop them. Sorry.


i should probably go into more detail about this (cause it makes me sound like a total bitch but i'm not. i've just learned a lot through rough times) but i'll leave it at this for now..
I don't want to spend too much time right now elaborating my thoughts at a computer..
or a human being reading this who wont even take the time to ask me the necessary questions to get to know me better.  The one who wont have the time or thoughtfulness of having a deep talk with me or discussion about life or anything in general.
I just had to post this so i wont forget to do so later on.
BYE.<3

I LOVE this!

http://everythinglove.tumblr.com/tagged/ingredients_of_love/chrono

Ingredients for love

MOOD SWINGS OF THE DAY

• tired didn't wanna get out of bed
• optimistic made plans for the day
• happy / giddy 
• frustrated
• cranky
• emotional / tears rolled down when i drove
• cried in the car then fell asleep there
• lazy 
• HIPER / giddy i'm literally dancing around my room to chris brown right now. God i need a dance class stat! 

wtf. most moods in one day. haha

i'm craving some thai ice tea, a bowl of sliced assorted fruits and some ribs.

*DROOL*

i know that if we were still close that you'd be at my door with all of these in an hour.

People need to just stfu sometimes. Do you even know the shit that comes out your mouth that you say just to be part of a hype?

kids these days .. -_-
First thought about this when i listened closely to the last verse of Bad Lands - Zion I
made me laugh to myself at how true it was.


Sometimes, i wish i was a teenager in Chicago during the 90's.

Monthly Visitor

no wonder i've been cranky lately and over thinking & over stressing.

Right now i just dgaf about anything -_-
i'm so confused. SO moody
so needy/whiny
but is it being whiny/needy/complaining really all it's cut out to be?
i mean, i just know what i want and what i don't want.
is that so much to ask for?

DAMN. I hate being needy. I just feel pathetic when i complain or request something so..i'll just not say anything.

anyways; on a side note, i've been into red lips lately and all of my clothes. ALL of it. I'm trying to not ignore anything i have in my closet and drawers anymore. After all, what's the point of having all these things if i'm not going to use them right?  it just takes up space. I know my clothes feel forgotten and i hate that feeling so i wont damage their ego anymore.  I'll rock the shit out of everything i wear and do.
Yes i have a wild imagination.. that just shows the artistic side of me.

I want to tell you all these things. SO many things. Everything from the cheesiest, most cliche things to  all the other random things on my mind but i don't know why i'm still not completely comfortable with that. probably it's because i don't want to look anymore like a fool.  I always have my guard up.. still. -__-  The next theory i have is because we never get to talk as much about US. We don't have stupid conversations about random shit. We don't have those late night conversations on AIM anymore or the phone (and i HATE how i'm not allowed to). All we have us the usual, "sup".  I don't feel as connected to you as i expected to be at this point.  I have so many questions. Questions i must share with you.  Maybe it's just me.. 
what happened?
FUCK now i feel like crying -_-
curse my period for making me so emotional and all'a this moody crap.
i'll stop while i can still stop myself.


I know this post has really jumped topics like crazy but that just goes to show how i'm thinking more than usual.(i despise having to point out the obvious but usually people just don't get me or even ask so i have to..)

I have a secret.

I"m just going to come out and say it.
I love my body. Yes, every inch of it.
No, not everything in it is perfect but i like it that way.
I love my personality.
No i'm not perfect but i like it that way.
My flaws and perfections together make me who i am.
I never admitt things about loving myself  out loud because judgmental people would automatically call me conceited.
Being conceited is about revolving around yourself and making everything around you.
Being conceited means wanting to manipulate everything so that you're always the center of attention
Being conceited is being addicted to the spotlight
But i'm not like that.
I simply love myself the way I am because i accept who i am. that's all.
It's being completely comfortable and confident with myself.
It's being happy with myself.
I love ME the way i am.
So no; i refuse to apologize for being me and loving me.